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ANNIVERSARY POEM
I’m used to someone else controlling the temperature in buildings. Depression creates a fuchsia crystal around the mind. Even when I walk into a room too hot for reason, I leave my sweater on. The crystal filters the light of thought the same, soothing fuchsia––it’s genius. In sadness, we try to control that which is not ours to. See how charm leads me through my life, self-loathing chasing after. I open the door and my girlfriend is worrying my blood pressure will kill me. At night we recognize the same purple halo around each other’s words. Even in my dreams my dad has been dead so long. It’s one of the things that tells me the dream is real. It is like still recognizing the fuzzing shoreline as I constantly depart on a long cruise. I sit down on the couch beside her and can’t believe we keep surviving! Purple light, purple despair, please stop touching the one I love. Even in my own home, I don’t understand when to change the thermostat. Falling asleep together on the bed, the mist of courtyard lights covering us, it feels like we’re moving through space. Tell me why that can’t be enough. |
