THANK YOU FOR CHOOSE INSERTA RX
Common side effects include dry mouth, dizziness, headache, and in some cases, mild to avalanche of diarrhea.
If you develop a rash or skin discoloration on your shoulders or upper back, consult with a health professional immediately. Your doctor may consider lowering or adjusting your dosage.
If you are a sleep-talker and your spouse, lover, or roommate overhears you muttering “mothman. mothman. mothman.” in your sleep, consult with a health professional immediately. If you are a sleep-talker cohabitating with a lover who does not speak your language but really gets you on a whole other level, consult with a health professional to find out if they understand your exotic lover’s tongue immediately.
If your lover tells your health professional in their native tongue that you have been muttering “mothman. mothman. mothman.” in your sleep, your health professional may recommend that you adjust your dosage. If you are a single sleep-talker who does not have a spouse, lover, roommate, or elderly aunt currently residing with you, download a dating app or take out a personal ad in your local newspaper immediately.
If you are too plagued by social anxiety to even think about seeking human companionship in one or both of the aforementioned manners, you may consider buying your health professional flowers. A certified florist can assist you in picking the appropriate flower or flowers for your health professional. Once purchased, attach a personal handwritten note with a flirty but tasteful message such as “wanna snuggle? ;-) ” Deliver the flowers to your health professional’s place of employ immediately. If your health professional has been sufficiently charmed, they may consider sleeping with you in order to determine whether or not you mutter “mothman. mothman. mothman.” in your sleep.
If your health professional is not yet sufficiently charmed, be persistent; with time, your health professional may reward your kindness with sexual intercourse. If your health professional continues to resist your advances, you may consider approaching your health professional’s receptionist.
If your health professional’s receptionist may have overheard you muttering “mothman. mothman. mothman.” in your sleep but you suspect that they are too shy to tell you due to trauma incurred over the course of a childhood marked by vicious body shaming, remind your health professional’s receptionist that they are worthy of love and furthermore, a total babe. You may consider looking up your health professional’s receptionist’s bullies on social media to laugh at how sad their lives are now.
If you are not the jealous type, you may also consider arranging a date with an attractive, level-headed, and emotionally available individual for your health professional’s receptionist.
Once you have successfully instilled a fitting level of self-love in your health professional’s receptionist, offer to sleep with them again. Your health professional’s receptionist’s newfound confidence may allow you to better determine whether or not you have been muttering “mothman. mothman. mothman.” in your sleep.
If you are not a sleep-talker and you begin sprouting flexible, semiopaque wings from your shoulders or upper back, you may be turning into a mothman. Seek the loving care of a health professional immediately (see above). Your health professional may consider adjusting or lowering your dosage of Inserta RX.
If your compulsive instruction-writing continues or worsens, you may consider discontinuing use of Inserta RX.