XVIII
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BLANCHE DUBOIS MISCARRIES, WONDERS IF SOMEONE REPORTED THE INSTAGRAM STORY IN WHICH SHE SHOUTED AN IMMINENT ABORTION TO GOD
is at least relieved that she’s too old to be raped, that they won’t even try anymore now that she’s a college junior with a reputation a college graduate done with the New York hotels not drinking like I used to learning how to navigate the hotels better and wonders if there is an app to conceal the hairs coming in gray at the root in her selfies wonders if God had told them she had already seen it all & was ready knows god is a man knows the clots of blood will flush down the drain but holds them in her hand for a moment rubs between her fingers a womb with a view of a parking lot, empty Blanche DuBois was told she was not allowed to bring children into the waiting room and wonders if that means she was not allowed to bring herself |
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BLANCHE DUBOIS SITS IN THE HOTEL LOBBY AND WAITS
jokes about buying jumbo packs of different sized condoms at CVS then Monistat & money orders four days later does not want to talk about the charcoal lemonade she knows does nothing except to make her shit out the Xanax, the Zoloft, the Concerta prescriptions she gave as an offering to the twenty-one year old during finals week hoping if she saved him five dollars, a couple phone calls he could focus on what she wanted ¬ the bags beneath her eyes overflowing with ten more years of “i’ll see you later, babe”s ¬ her silence between “how was your trip out of town” and “it was ok” before changing the subject to something she could pretend was ok Blanche DuBois says she wants to keep it light wants to find a way to tell you she was a bulimic in her late teens every time you push her head down on your cock but remembers that was ten years ago & she’s got no excuses now to not swallow infinity to not pretend it’s light |